Self Fulfilling Prophecy and Self Serving Bias

Let’s get straight to the point.

I don’t know guys, I think I don’t know my self very well. Sometimes I’m feeling so proud of me, and sometimes I hate my self too. It could happened in the same day.

Like, for example, I found a book (damn I bought another book again :/) that I think it suits for me. It explained about graphic design briefly, I got a mini (but cute) pouch from an illustrator in a book tour event. I feel so happy at that time! Oh, how lucky I was! What worse can happen?

Worst things happened to me one by one. I got hit by the automatic parking gate. I have no fckin clue where was pedestrian supposed to walk. When I got hit, I heard that the staff yelled at me “watch out!” RIGHT AFTER I GOT HIT. I’m sure he DID THAT ON PURPOSE.

Thus, I searched for a grab driver, the phone was broken and I realized its battery isn’t right. I waited for 1 hour for nothing. I got home by riding a public transportation instead. The bestest moment of a day can be broken in just 3 minutes.

FYI, when I got off from the bus, I have to WALK for about 30-45 minutes to arrive in front of my house. If not, I have to take another public transportation again, twice, plus the traffic jam. A passenger told me, my plastic bag was torn up. Great. Really.

In the bus, I concerned what just happened with me. “why do I thinking like this?” “Isn’t it not good for my health?” “why is everything bad happened to me at once?” “why do people walks SO FCKN SLOW when I feel irritated?” “why do I carry my sisters’ items?” (its weight was about 1-2 kg) “why I haven’t found a guy that has the same hobby as me?” Aggh, I feel like my brain is shrinking.

Eh, almost forgot. Maybe I think like this because I didn’t got what was supposed to be mine. My rights. Last night I registered to a “book tour” event. Although the book wasn’t really my taste (romance, and the writer had thousand experience of broken heart) I’m afraid I wouldn’t get what he was saying. But the author said “sure you may join” after I asked him in his instagram. He speaks funny.

The problem is, in the poster said “awesome prize is waiting for the first 10 partcipants”. I feel thrilled. In the end of the book tour, my name was mentioned in the second place. Th editor of the book, who was willing to give the prize to the ‘lucky’ participants, never give the prize (maybe only to me? I don’t know who were the other 9 participants). The prize was a small notebook. It wasn’t cute either. I don’t need it. I have plenty of notebooks in my home, haven’t finished them yet. But I feel like my life is missing and colorless. What was supposed to be mine never arrive. Although I don’t really need it.

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